Jeremy Clarkson suffers ‘total disaster’ ahead of Christmas as he admits being ‘naïve’

Jeremy Clarkson has admitted he’s suffered a ‘total disaster’ at his Farmer’s Dog pub ahead of Christmas.

The former Top Gear star, 64, opened the doors to his Oxfordshire pub in August after the success of his Diddly Squat farm and shop, but has already faced backlash over prices and revealed fears he won’t make his money back after splurging a reported £1,000,000.

Recently, he faced backlash over Christmas plans after it was revealed any diners turning up for a meal in the early to mid evening would be given a one hour time limit to finish.

But that’s just the start of a long list of issues The Clarkson’s Farm star is facing behind the scenes.

Clarkson has now spoken about difficulties he’s faced at The Farmer’s Dog in the run up to the festive period, saying: ‘Behind the scenes, then, everything is a total disaster.’

Listing the problems he’s been facing in his column for The Times, he explained that he’d been ‘naïve’ when he bought the pub, after hearing of the difficulties of making a profit.

He shared one incident that occurred at the farm, after one of his employees called him and ‘for several minutes made retching noises down the phone’ after ‘an accident’ in one of the outside toilets.

‘No amount of festival visits would prepare you for the horror of what had been produced at the Farmer’s Dog,’ Clarkson said.

‘It was everywhere and in such vast quantities that no ordinary plumbing or cleaning equipment would even scratch the surface. So a whole team of chemically trained hazmat engineers had to be employed. That’s a cost I’d never factored into any of my business plans.’

He went on to reveal the pub has suffered ‘theft’ which some customers taking home the glasses they’re served pints in.

104 glasses ‘went missing’ last Sunday, Clarkson revealed, continuing: ‘That cost must be added to the £100 a day we spend on fuel for the generator, the £400 a week it costs to provide warmth on the terrace and the £27,000 a month we must spend on parking and traffic marshals to keep the council off our back.

‘And that’s before you get to the cost of employing people in Starmer’s Britain these days.’

He added: ‘It’s galling to see how much effort is required to make so little money on the farm. It’s worse at the pub. The customers are coming. There’s no problem there. But turning their visits into a profit is nigh-on impossible.’

He went on to say that other issues he’s facing include a fire safety issue over his neon ‘Farmers’ Clubhouse’ sign, after being told it needs its own switch, accusations that ‘someone is living in the rabbit warren of unheated rooms in the attic’, and a ‘disaster’ with Christmas turkeys after only selling five but ordering 40.

Not only that, but he went on to say his beer had been ‘fobbing’, leaving the bar staff looking like ‘they’ve been working at a Corfu nightclub’s foam night’, and the Christmas trees he planted 10 years ago are now ‘absurd’.

Meanwhile, his plans for Christmas like a grotto with reindeer and a Santa have faced problems too.

‘We can’t find a reindeer, so I’m having to use a normal deer with antlers taped to its head,’ he said, though the electric fence being used to keep the deer where they are ‘is not compatible, apparently, with children’.

And when it comes to Christmas carols, he’s worried the artists will want £500,000 if the songs are played during filming.

‘Behind the scenes, then, everything is a total disaster. But the fact is that when you go there you just wouldn’t know,’ Clarkson concluded.

The presenter has been open about the fears he’s faced over making a profit after buying the pub, having said the new venture has put some financial strain on him.

Meanwhile, when Clarkson’s pub – which has previously faced immense backlash over shocking prices – opening its doors in August, he admitted it had initially been a ‘disaster’.

‘There have been massive, massive struggles. We quietly opened yesterday and it was a disaster – and I do mean a disaster,’ he told PA.